The pilgrims' journey
aCross America
Day 1:
"Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels". (Hebrews 13:1-2) I recently had the privilege of hosting a couple angels. Are you asking if I've lost it? Too late for that question I'm afraid, but this is not an instance of loss of sanity. These were not literal heavenly beings. Just a couple people like you and me. I met a Polish man named Roman on September 14th, the Feast Day of the Holy Cross. I overheard him talking to a priest, and I was intrigued when I heard he is doing a pilgrimage, on foot, praying for America. I asked if I could listen in. Turns out that he left San Francisco on May 3rd and had just made it to Cedar Lake, Indiana. A long story short, he needed some help. He had pitched his tent the night before on the grounds of Lourdes Friary (with permission), and he had not slept because of an infected tooth. I offered to take him to a dentist, and invited him to the cathedral with me. Our bishop had called for a day of prayer and reparation, because of the sex abuse scandal in the church. I'm thinking perfect! We need some prayer on this issue. Anyway, I learned that his destination (on foot mind you) was ground zero in New York to end his prayer for the country. I'll spend the next few days I think sharing some stories of our time together. I had the privilege of joining the pilgrimage, together with Voytek who walked from Edmonton Canada to Mexico City, at ground zero. Back to the scripture from Hebrews. That scripture came to mind the moment I heard him speak. I thought, "I wonder if he's an angel Lord?" So, before the dentist we stopped at my house, used the bathroom, and stored his buggy he was pushing across the country. I had him leave the house first, so he would not be attacked by Lobo, my 12 pound demon dog. I was less than 10 seconds behind him. I walked down the steps, into the garage and wondered where he went, when I opened the garage door and didn't see I was shocked, I mean he disappeared! Then I asked, "Lord, was he an angel?" Turns out he went out the front door instead of the back. In the end, I believe I did unknowingly entertain an angel (which is what he kept calling me for helping). From the Greek, angel means messenger. Like I said, I'll be sharing in the coming days some of the stories and messages I heard. I think you'll come to agree with me I entertained an angel.
Day 2:
"Let mutual love continue". If you gave any thought to the nearly 3,000 mile walk Roman and Voytek each took, you may have some questions. How did they pay for it? How many pair of shoes did they go through? Where did they sleep? I know it took Roman 4 pair of shoes, Voytek I didn't ask. He only speaks Polish. Which begs the question, how did he communicate? Google translator! He was even interviewed by a Mexican news station (through google translator) when he entered Mexico. Money? They each started with $150.00. By the time Voytek reached Mexico City, he was able to send $1,000 to a children's hospice clinic in Poland. That came from the poor, that's like the widows mite in my eyes. Like I said, I joined them at ground zero. We had some plans to travel to a few locations on the east coast. I was prepared to pay for gas and hotels. Before we left New York, Roman gave me $250, saying someone wanted to pay for the gas. Turns out, that's just the amount we needed. Where did they sleep? Under tent mostly. Not a problem to pitch a tent when you're in Utah or Wyoming 100 miles from the nearest gas station, but when in civilization permission is needed. What do they do? Knock on a door, introduce themselves, tell the people who they are and what they're doing. The introduction goes something like this. I'm a pilgrim from Poland. I'm part of a group called Pilgrims of God's Mercy. We're 22 in Our community. Since 2010 we have been walking through countries to pray for them, because we want to give back to God what he has given us. You see most of our group were in prison and in our darkest moment Jesus came to us with his light, and now we follow that light. Not a very good sales pitch in my opinion, especially if you're looking for a place to sleep. But it's the truth. One story from Roman today. I believe he said he was in Nebraska, surrounded by endless miles of corn fields. It was raining he was soaked and, literally in the middle of nowhere. He came upon a house and knocked. A widow answered. After his sales pitch she let him in. She was apparently wealthy. As he describes, the possessions she had like the bath towels which were the thickest he'd ever seen, told the story of her wealth. Once in her home, she gave him a room with a bath, free reign to the kitchen. Then she informed him she was leaving to spend time with some friends. She also instructed him to make himself comfortable. In Mexico I'm sure they told Voytek, "mi casa es su casa." He was shocked and asked, "why are you trusting me?" After all, he could have helped himself to her treasures. Her response, "I could die tonight, and there's nothing here I can take with me."
Day 3:
"Let mutual love continue ". Think about the meaning of the word mutual. It means there is an exchange of something between persons. In other words there is both giving and receiving. Roman told me that in his experience during pilgrimage, he has found that the greater the need, the more he sees God's providence. Take Voytek's entrance into Mexico, but first let's go back to their original plan, and the name of this pilgrimage which was "aCross America". Voytek intended to go from Mexico to Canada. The direction changed when three priests in April were killed or died in unusual circumstances (like the one who died of an apparent heart attack after being kidnapped) not to mention many other forms of civil violence; often directed at the church. So hear is a Polish man who does not speak Spanish, entering a violent country where even the police are known for their corruption and extortion of the law abiding. So how did it work out? Like Roman knocked on the door of a rich widow's home, so too did Voytek knock on the door of a country through a television station using google translator! And they opened their doors and welcomed him. Not one time, not one time in the month and a half Voytek walked in Mexico did he sleep under tent! The police? They helped him as he approached towns. Why? Because of the crowds expecting and welcoming the pelegrino (Spanish for pilgrim) were so big, they were doing crowd control. The police also helped him to carry, in their police vehicles all the food which was given him, because he could not possibly have carried the over abundance he received. Key word, received. He accepted what was given. That's the mutually that must be present for true love. Today begins a new year in the church, and the beginning of the Advent Season. An advent is the arrival of a notable person, like Voytek in the Mexican Villages. Have you heard the news of the day? Do you know who is coming to us? It's the Christ! Today, our time of preparation begins for the most notable of all persons. We'll be remembering His first advent, in the City of Bread, Bethlehem, His pilgrimage to us from the Heavenly Jerusalem, His Incarnation which enabled Him to walk upon this earth, and bless it with His footsteps. Let's learn from the past and be prepared, so that we not make the same mistake those innkeepers made at His birth, when they failed to welcome Him.
Day 4:
With all this mutual love happening, it may sound like it's a pretty easy endeavor to walk across the country, just hop on a plane and off you go. We read the centurion's words to Jesus in today's gospel, "I too am a man subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me." Read on and you'll hear the familiar words from the communion rite at mass, "O Lord, I am not worthy, that You should enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant shall be healed." (Mathew 8:8) A walk across the country for the pilgrims begins with them subjecting themselves to the authority of their local bishop. No trek takes place without permission. They're subject too, to the authority of those whose doors they knock on. Like, when Voytek was in Wyoming, he wanted to see the priest before mass. He wanted his "passport" (not government issued, but a book to be stamped by the churches they visit) to be stamped. He wished to speak to the priest who is the proper authority to make the stamp. Google translated his intention. As he waited outside the sacristy, some women eventually told him to leave, and he complied. "Shaking the dust from his feet" I assume, "in testimony against them". Then there was the time in California, when Roman had just started his pilgrimage. He was in handcuffs shortly after knocking on the door of a church asking to pitch his tent. Apparently, the priest was afraid because he lived in a bad neighborhood. After explaining his mission, making prayer by his footsteps for our country, the priest gave him money for a hotel and was given an escort by the police officer to the hotel. So these guys enter our country subject to another's authority. Not a very American ideal, in "the land of the free and home of the brave." The land where independence reigns, not dependence. After all, our culture teaches happiness is born of our freedom to do whatever we want. Who has it right, the pilgrims or our culture? Before you answer, consider the meaning of the word authority. Which is the ability to author something. What was the centurion; who was not a Jew, trying to author? The answer we hear as he approached Jesus, "Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully." The centurion; an occupier in the Land of Israel, through faith was appealing to mercy of our God, for the sake of his servant. May the Lord show us the path to true freedom. May we have the wisdom to understand to whom we have authority over, as well as to understand to whom we are subject. May He give us the grace to submit our lives to the rightful authority of the will of God. If we do, I believe we will receive from Jesus what He gave to the servant of the centurion who was paralyzed. Jesus said to the centurion, "I will come and cure him," and Jesus did in that very moment without ever coming to the centurion's home.
Day 5:
"Let mutual love continue ". How's that workin' for us, in our lives, families, our nation? By this time, you may have the question, why? Why would someone choose to make a pilgrimage? Why in a country where there is even great strife (like the country of Georgia during a war), walk through it, while making prayer with footsteps and heart? Why America? The first time I ever heard of a pilgrim was a man named George, an American. He felt called to leave all and walk. Something like Forest Gump, just felt like runnin'. One exception, a genuine pilgrimage is a call by God. George spent the last couple decades of his life walking the world. I never heard of him wanting for anything. Not even a burrito. Like while on the 1,000 mile dirt road between the border of Alaska and Canada, he let God know he had a taste for one. Five minutes later a car passed by, stopped, backed up, and gave him, yes a burrito! We have the Camino de Santiago today (the Way of St James), in Spain. It's a tourist industry where one source I read said 300,000 people a year make the journey. In the 12th century there was a travel guide, yes a travel guide for pilgrimage called the "Mirabilia Urbis Romae". Pilgrimage was encouraged in the early centuries of the church to Rome or Jerusalem. You get the point, it's not a new idea (and dates back actually Before Christ). Roman and Voytek you could say are just doing a form of "extreme pilgrimage". Making prayer for the country they're in. But first, another essential ingredient in a genuine pilgrimage, they pray for themselves. For their own conversion. Depending upon God to provide for them. Allowing Him to change their hearts. Why America? They didn't have a complete answer before they began. That understanding unfolded as they went along. Not unlike it does in our own lives if we're open. We learn how to pray for ourselves, which is essential; as well as, how to pray for others. I can answer part of the question of, "why our country", in a personal story. I used to volunteer at The Mantle, a "place for children and families" founded by Fr Gus Milon, O.F.M. It was on the South Side of Chicago in a very poor and violent neighborhood. I was there when the building was given to him by the bank that owned it, I helped in its construction and cleanup, I was there when the doors opened to children and families. My chance to give back, real ministry! One day while I volunteered for the after school program, and I helped a young girl of about 10 (I was so excited, real ministry). I asked her about her parents. She explained that her father was murdered. Of course, the compassion flowed from my heart. Then she explained she lives with her grandmother, she lost her mother to violence also. This time she actually witnessed the murder. By this time, grief took the place of compassion. There were more, horrific stories from this child. I was overwhelmed! I simply couldn't handle it. I believe I returned to volunteer one or two times after that.
Day 6:
"Do not neglect hospitality." Hebrews (13:2a) The root of the word hospitality comes from the Latin, hospes, which means welcoming. The 10 year old victim at the Mantle, was welcomed in and then abandon by me. In past years, when out with my kids, if someone asked how many children I have, I would say six. Inevitably one of my children would correct me, "you have seven dad." I didn't always count my first daughter, Claire-Marie who is deceased. Today, I just say that I have seven children, five of whom are living, after the death of Teresa last year. In all the years that I have raised children, I can say that I never, not once, lost my patience with one of them, if I was at peace with myself. I'm not saying I never lost patience, but when I did, it was not their misbehavior that was the cause or them acting childish. The problem was in myself, which was the reason I abandoned the young girl at the Mantle. The journey for the pilgrims ended at ground zero to pray for our country, an obvious wound on the heart of our nation. Today, where the Twin Towers once rose, are two deep fountains that are like holes left in our souls by injury. The pilgrims prayed not just for the healing of our nation, but also for those who committed this atrocity. Why? Jesus said to pray for our enemies? Yes, but the prayer comes with some wisdom behind it. The understanding that those terrorists where once victims, once innocent children like the 10 year old girl. So what's at the root of my abandonment of that child, the mistreatment I have perpetrated on my children when I have lost my patience with them? Simply the fact that I have been victimized, and I am wounded. That I am failing to acknowledge in that moment my brokenness and need. These open wounds in my soul, like the deep fountains at ground zero cannot be healed, unless I know they're there. If they are not healed, then the home of my heart will eventually become like an abandoned home with no locks on the doors, broken windows, and a leaky roof. Not a pretty picture. No need to worry, Jesus was a carpenter by trade. Fr Gus whom I mentioned, was an exorcist. He taught me that the wounds in my heart (I have no problem sharing, after all I know you have them too) are like open doors, broken windows, or a leaky roof that let the rain and cold in. These same wounds are entry ways in my soul for the evil one. Don't believe a devil exists? Wow! What if he didn't? That would mean mankind is capable, of its own accord, of the evil we see in the world today. Not that I doubt the existence of a malevolent fallen angels, but if I did, I would hope they did exist. From Isaiah in today's reading the following promise: "On this mountain he will destroy the veil that veils all peoples, the web that is woven over all nations; he will destroy death forever." We don't have to wait till we're dead to go to the mountain, and have eyes opened by the removal of the veil, deaths destruction can also start today in our lives. The death Adam and Eve experienced when they took and ate forbidden fruit. The starting point? Always and without exception, honesty! To that end, may the Lord remove the veils of denial, so that we can see what's in need of repair. Were you taught the same lie I was as a child? "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Whether it's undeniable trauma like the child at the mantle, the tremendous tragedy of 9-11, or the less obvious traumas like unkind words received. We are wounded, we need healing, and however big or small the wound, we can deny the hurt; even if we can't deny the incident. May the waters of God's mercy, flowing like the fountains at ground zero, remove the veil that blinds us. May we acknowledge our need and call upon the only One who can repair the home of our hearts, the same One who created it, who wishes to come and live in the home of our soul with us. May we journey with Jesus in those broken places within, and allow Him to heal us.
Day 7:
"Do not neglect hospitality." If hospitality means to welcome, then the opposite is to reject. Fr Gus often talked about rebellion, he said, the root of rebellion is rejection. Something we've all experienced. One way rebellion has manifested itself in my life is through my drug addiction and alcoholism. It also didn't help that drinking, a lot, is prevalent in my family. Can I blame my problem on my family? Which by the way, God willing, and I know He is, I will celebrate 30 years of sobriety this coming February 11th. May I cooperate with God and not fall back into that rebellion. Anyway, for those of us in the family that are honest, we can trace back abusive drinking to my grandfather (Oppa). We don't know prior family history. He had a problem, not only with drinking but anger too. We also know he had more than his fair share of rejection. While with Roman and Voytek, I proudly announced my family history of pilgrimage, and we've got their longest beat. Oppa, who was captured by the Russians during his first week of WWI, and spent the rest of the war cutting timber in Siberia. When the war was over he was free to go. He didn't get a free train ride back though. He walked most of the way. Look at a globe, from Siberia to Austria-Hungary (now Czechoslovakia) that's about half way around the world. Now I have to make a concession to the pilgrims here. It took my grandfather three years, if Voytek did it, I think it would take about eight months at his pace. Also, if you add up all their walks, I'm afraid they've got Oppa beat. Even though the concentration camp had no walls or fence (where could they run?), hospitality was not a virtue of Oppa's hosts. Sure they fed him, but only to give him strength to cut trees. While he had a place to sleep, conditions were poor, nor was he properly clothed. My point, he experienced a great deal of rejection, his personality showed the wounds at times, he used drinking to cover the pain. A candidate for the diagnosis of PTSD for sure! Is that where the alcoholism began in my family? His open and unhealed wounds which he in turn perpetuated to his children and grandchildren? Jesus says in today's gospel says, "Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock." So forget about the cosmetics of windows and doors, Jesus is taking us to the foundation. How does that apply to my family, especially in the light of wounds of rejection. Are the Russian soldiers responsible for the wounds that led to me living a life of rebellion? Maybe, but if not, then where did this all start? Scripture and Tradition have the answer. This all began with our first parents. Eve approached by the serpent took, ate, and gave to Adam who also took from Eve and ate forbidden fruit! The fruit was knowledge of good and evil as the story goes. Not listening, the first rebellion. Not fair? God gave everything in the garden with one exception. God didn't want them to have this knowledge? Yes, actually He did, but it was His to give and not theirs to take! This original rebellion caused the original wound, mankind's first disobedience to God, which led to physical death, and I believe is at the root of all our problems today. So we need repair at our foundation, no problem. Brick and mortar work takes materials and water. They're all available for the asking. The tree of life in the Garden of Eden, has been replaced by the Tree of Life on Golgotha, complete with a Fountain of Mercy flowing from Our saviors wounded side.
Day 8:
"Do not neglect hospitality." Back to September, when I first met Roman. He needed a tooth extracted because it was infected. We did not know each other, and we didn't know if we could trust one another. We dropped off all of his belongings at my house then drove to the dentist, which is close to my work. I told him I had to run to work and would be back in an hour. I wonder if he had any anxiety whether or not I would return. Turns out I wasn't back in an hour, it took me more than two. I gave my cell phone number so he could contact me. I never heard from him and I figured he was waiting. Anyway, on my way to the dentist, I decided to call my wife (which I didn't want to do) and tell her I picked up an ex-convict from Poland who was walking across the country to pray for us. My wife in general has a little more sense than I do. By this time I had a good idea the Holy Spirit was leading this encounter, but to say the least, my wife was not there. So, she's on the phone as I pulled up to the dentist, and I'm trying to alleviate her fears of the loss of my sanity, which wasn't working so well. The moment I pulled up Roman walks out. I thought for sure he had been waiting. The timing was so good that he thought the dentists office called me. Turns out it was just God's timing. So, I am trying to tell my wife he's about to get in the car and she can talk to him. Well that wasn't working, and she had no intention to speak with him. I'm really concerned by this time, my wife is not on board with my adventure. She's clearly telling me not to put him on the phone. Well, she was on speaker. Next thing you know a "hello" to my wife with a Polish accent. He starts telling my wife what an angel I am. Now I'm real concerned for her reaction. But this was the second miracle of the moment, after the perfect timing. I could hear her fears vanishing as they spoke. Now she was not ready to open our home in hospitality and give him a place to sleep, yet. But she was by the end of the day. Remember this was the day that our bishop called for a day of prayer and reparation because of the sex abuse scandal. I had invited Roman because, if he was praying for our country this was an important issue. The dentist said no walking for a day, so he joined me. When we met in New York, he told me his suspicions as we drove to the cathedral that day. He also learned a new word, "urban blight". He was shocked as we drove past the abandoned homes, businesses, and churches. He couldn't believe our cathedral was in this neighborhood. I later explained government corruption and racism were to blame for the blight. Just like our lives, which are a pilgrimage to God, He reveals to us as we go along our needs. God showed Roman a couple areas where we need prayer, the church and state whose sins have caused the suffering of others. A lesson I learned that day. Roman's need for help with the dentist, rest, food, and shelter were an opportunity for my wife and I to love, to show hospitality to a stranger, and not for Roman alone but also for Jesus who said, "whatsoever you do for the least of my little ones, you do for me."
Day 9:
"....some have unknowingly entertained angels." Hebrews 13:2 As I said, my wife did welcome Roman and show hospitality and we hosted him for the night. The next day as we packed his belongings and he headed for the road, I felt a desire in my heart to join him at ground zero, and I asked if I could. He said yes and, I was privileged to be there with Roman and Voytek. (Voytek had been staying in Chicago after his pilgrimage, and he traveled by car for Roman's last leg). We kept in touch as he traveled. And then another desire in my heart. I told him that I had thought we should go to the National Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. When we finally spoke at length about the cathedral in Washington, he said that he and his spiritual director from Poland spoke on the phone as soon as he touched down in San Francisco, and said that he believed the two should go to the cathedral. They did not know how it would be possible, but now they had the means. The National Cathedral is dedicated to Our Lady under the title "The Immaculate Conception", and as such she is the patroness of the United Stares. This brings to mind another scripture from the Book of Hebrews, "...we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses." (Hebrews 12:1) On their journeys the pilgrims always adopt a patron saint for the country they walk. And they carry an icon of that saint. In the case of America, there were two. Our Lady of Guadalupe (carried by Voytek) and St. Rafka (a Lebanese saint, translated Rebecca in English). What's the purpose? First, consider what a witness is; an on looker or an observer. Take that literally and it means there are lots of saints and angels from heaven that are observing us? We're surrounded! I guess we should be in our best behavior then. That's not the purpose of this cloud. Holy Mother Church teaches that the saints that have gone before us are not merely passive onlookers, but are active in our lives. God gives them to us a gift. As any gift, we must accept it so that it can become of use. All Church Teaching is both rooted and confirmed in scripture. How is this one? Not to mention the activity of angels throughout the history of the Jewish people and early days of the church, where we seen many instances of God's intervention with angels. Another instance and perhaps the clearest is in the life of Jesus. At His Transfiguration, present were Moses and Elijah. How can these observers become a benefit to us? The pilgrims teach us. They adopt patrons, call upon them for help, expect from them guidance to be directed in the way of God's will. Just like Moses and Elijah certainly helped Jesus in his humanity come down the mountain, and make his way to the cross. So they will help us! If we're willing to receive. As Roman said, "Life is a pilgrimage." We need not be alone. Even in the middle of the desert in Utah, or after having been rejected by people in a church in Caspar, Wyoming. God wishes to be present to us through His Angels and His Saints! Angels are messengers. The message Roman brought to us, "do not neglect hospitality." For it is in giving that we receive. Paradoxically, we cannot receive unless we first accept, after all, it is God who has first loved us.
Day 10:
"We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose". Romans 8:28 November 11th, Armistice Day and the pilgrims journey ends at ground zero. I was there, gratefully. No big fan fare, but there were a couple big flags Voytek carried with a large mast. One American flag and one Polish, back to back to make one. There were also present about a dozen people (angels as Roman calls them), whom he met from New York and New Jersey, all Polish speaking, who had helped on his journey. Arrival time, the Hour of Mercy three o'clock, and the Divine Mercy Chaplet was prayed for our country. Originally, Roman expected to arrive more than two weeks earlier. The loss of daylight cut him down to only about 20 miles a day. I had my own troubles as I drove there. My plan was to arrive early afternoon on the 10th, meet up, have dinner, discuss our plans for the next few days, where we would travel and such. I left Friday afternoon, in order to make it far enough for an easy drive the next morning. No problems until I-80 was closed the next morning due to an accident (at least 4 trucks that crashed due to icy conditions). The signs on the highway warned me, "highway closed". As did my GPS that tried to reroute me, adding two hours to arrival. I didn't listen to either and the five hour trip ended up being eleven hours. We spent one week traveling the east coast. On our last day, I apologized to Roman. All the plans I had to pay for gas, hotels, and food did not materialize. I did put us up one night in New York and paid for a meal, but that was it. My plans were interrupted by God's. Between a monastery in Manhattan, an angels home in New Jersey, a seminary in Washington, and finally a retreat center In Doylestown, Pennsylvania all meals and accommodations were provided. None of which were planned by myself or the pilgrims. Not all meals (I actually had to buy a hot dog for lunch two times in between destinations). I had more than my share of doubts about volunteering to make transport for the pilgrims, confirmed by interrupted plans. In the end, I was given so much. Lessons on God's Providence, my own weaknesses and lack of faith. Now, I know I was called to be there, just as I believe Roman and Voytek are called by God in the ministry they have been given. The lessons I learned confirm Roman's 8:28. "All things work for the good." I'll spend the next few days sharing what I learned.
Day 11:
As l said, I apologized to Roman, but I didn't really owe him an apology, as much as I owed God a few. I had plans to be a host angel, but our Lord had different plans. Instead of me being the one showing hospitality, it was now time for me to experience what the pilgrims had in their journey. It was time for me to receive hospitality. But not exclusively hospitality, there was rejection too. My vehicle is a small pick up truck. At least that's what it's called, but if you've seen it you know it's anything but small at nearly seven feet tall and the length of one and a half cars. I know the drill in New York that it won't fit in every parking garage. So when Roman said he was invited by a priest to stay in monastery in Manhattan, I was nervous. How the invitation came about is worth telling. He met this priest from the Order of The Franciscan Friars of the Renewal through an angel. They went to this monastery for a mast to hold the flags Voytek carried to ground zero. When they met, Roman explained his mission, his past life, and how it is today. After a brief five minute meeting, the priest asked if they had a place to stay. He immediately gave him a key to their home; with the instructions, come back and we'll have accommodations for you. And it was beautiful. Private bedrooms and baths in a very old and very large home that someone donated to the brothers. Me, I was just worried about parking my beast of a truck, I wanted to stay in the hotel, but I reluctantly agreed. Sure enough we needed a parking garage. We dropped our bags and Voytek off, and pulled in the nearest garage. A guy with a heavy New York accent starts yelling, "woe, woe what are you doing bringing that thing in here!" "What do you expect me to do with it?" Then he preceded to tell me it's gonna take two spots, you have to pay double, and give me a big tip, up front. My fears realized. I turned to Roman and said, "welcome to America and capitalism." I was pissed, he got a kick out of it. Back at the monastery, I told the priest, "hope you don't treat us like the parking attendant." His response, "you are guests and will pay for nothing." The next morning I gave Roman an English lesson. He didn't understand the word "grudge". So I used the parking attendants behavior as an example. "I'm holding on to my anger against him, my grudge." The priest heard me. He pulled $60 out of his pocket, threw it at me, and said a lady just knocked on the door and gave this to me for the poor. I'm paying your parking to pay for your grudge! I later rationalized that parking was $90, so I can hold on to some of my grudge (not to mention the $20 tip Roman paid). What really happened? I was angry because I felt hurt, taken advantage of. I could have chosen to take St. Paul's advice and, "put up with a little injustice." But no, instead my holding on was responsible for a theft against the poor. Or was it? I believe the priest did use it for the poor, he was making a payment because of my poverty and lack of charity.
Day 12:
So my intention to be the host was not yet over. I had already planned to give a donation to the brothers. I was not deterred by the $60 gift from the priest. Before leaving I asked for confession. After we finished, I informed him that I intended to give a donation before he gave me the money, and there was no room for negotiation. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I clearly understood my donation wasn't happening. I didn't feel any guilt for my actions until then. Guilt from taking from the poor was not the lesson, my openness to accepting help was. In my confession, a wound from an important relationship came to light. Not unlike my holding onto to anger (really holding a hurt) from the parking attendant. He asked if I have forgiven this person. I said yes, and maybe like the onion analogy there may be some deeper layers to work on. Then he asked if I have spoken this forgiveness out loud? And he invited me to do so. He asked if I wanted to. I said yes and no I don't. He praised my honesty. We are made in the image of God. What a holy and pious thought. Do we really comprehended this reality? We believe too that God is creator. We even know how He created all things, "by speaking and whatever he spoke, came to be." Made in His image we have the same power of creation. There is power in our words, real power! St. Teresa of Avila called our tongues our most corrupt members of our body? With our tongues; she said, we bless God, and then we turn and curse one another. Just like God we have the power to create by our words, to build one another up. We also have the power to destroy, simply because God made us in His image and likeness. There is power in confession speaking our sins to another, in the sacrament of confession. To a priest, although beset by weakness just like we are, the priest has been anointed by God with His authority to forgive our sins as we speak them into the Mercy of God at the foot of His cross in the sacrament. I accepted his invitation to speak forgiveness in this relationship. I have never been able to do so because this person has never admitted their offense. By speaking these words, I created freedom from the hurt.
Day 13:
We left Manhattan after my confession. It was on my heart that we travel to Stockbridge, Massachusetts, where the National Shrine of Divine Mercy is located. Our goal, be there by three o'clock for the Hour of Mercy because of the instructions that Jesus gave to Sr. Faustina. From her diary; "At three o'clock, implore My mercy, especially for sinners; and, if only for a brief moment, immerse yourself in My Passion, particularly in My abandonment at the moment of agony. This is the hour of great mercy ... In this hour I will refuse nothing to the soul that makes a request of Me in virtue of My Passion." (Diary 1320) Daily, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy is prayed at three o'clock at the shrine. It's striking to me in Jesus' words to Faustina, "pray for sinners." One of God's rules. He won't act without being asked. It is His will to show us mercy and save us, but He can't do it without a request. Remember the pilgrims came to pray for us, and not for us alone but also themselves. As it seems Jesus so often does, He chooses the most unlikely candidates to carry His messages. Sr. Faustina He called His secretary of Divine Mercy. She was instructed to write a diary of His visions and messages to her, in spite of only having a second or third grade education. Her writings are so profound they will be teaching theologians for centuries to come. She was a Polish nun, so this gives a special connection to the pilgrims. But you don't have to be Polish to hear what Jesus is teaching us through Faustina. He made clear to her His message of mercy is for the whole world! From her diary, here are Jesus' words about confession: "Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal of Mercy. There the greatest miracles take place [and] are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come with faith to the feet of My representative and to reveal to him one's misery, and the miracle of Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated. Were a soul like a decaying corpse so that from a human standpoint, there would be no [hope of] restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of Divine Mercy restores that soul in full" (Diary, 1448).
Day 14:
Remember that the pilgrims take no trek without permission from their local bishop. They submit to his authority. They make a process of discernment, which includes receiving "signs". Like one they got for America. They had chosen their patrons for the journey, Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Rafka. As they were plotting their path, looking for a meeting place, they googled Rafka and discovered there was a St. Rafka's Maronite Church in Denver. This became the intersection of the beams of the cross for the pilgrimage "aCross America"! In today's reading we hear that God instructed Ahaz to "ask for a sign from the Lord." (From the Book of Isaiah). He said, "I will not ask! I will not tempt the LORD!" Isaiah's response, "....the Lord himself will give you this sign: the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall name him Emmanuel". In our culture, we have created new sports events. There's not just kayaking, but extreme kayaking. Extreme surfers don't look for waves, rather 80' to 100' waves. Roman and Voytek don't do mere pilgrimages, but extreme ones. Extreme sports enthusiasts are not content with an average adrenaline rush, they want more. The pilgrims are not into adrenaline, rather it's all about being called, by the light that saved them in their darkest hour. It's their faith. Think about what we believe, our faith is extreme. A virgin with child, a god who became man, who died and rose from the dead. The God man who performed miracles outside of the laws of nature like healing paralytics or making fish and loaves multiply. It takes faith to believe, and we know faith is in question today. One reason, science has progressed to the point where what was once mystery in now understood, but I've even heard doubts from some theologians. Did Jesus really do miracles? Or, do the theologians of our day that explain for instance, that the multiplication of food was really a miracle of people sharing with each other. Therefore, Jesus didn't go beyond the laws of nature to feed the five thousand? Does our culture believe we've evolved so much in our understanding of nature and faith that these silly myths are merely that, myths? That question must be answered in ones own heart. My answer, our faith is extreme and real. The pilgrims are radical, which is nothing new with our faith. So was St. Francis, as was Mother Teresa. Then again maybe these saints were not so radical, in the light of the fact that they believed in a God who does do miracles.
- Michael Kotso